Sunday, May 17, 2009

The look

So, recently I was trying to navigate a Dutch train station. I had all my stuff clinging to my back and I looked (I imagine) like a very confused and lost American. The only true part about that is that I'm American, I knew exactly where I wanted to go and I was determined to get there. I don't mean to brag but I've gotten pretty good at navigating train stations. I was confident, to say the least.

Well, some poor guy misread the situation completely. He saw me and though “Hmm, young, obviously foreign, possibly a hippie backpacker. I bet I can convince him to buy some shit from me.”

So, he approached me.

I was distracted. I looked up and saw this guy looking at me. I didn't get a good feeling from him, he seemed like a shady type of character. He began to follow me while jabbering at me in Dutch.

I said, “Umm, dude I don't speak Dutch.”

At this point I imagine his brain was thinking something like “Oh yeah baby, jack pot, this kid is a foreigner, he is young, he is going to buy whatever I offer him. He is going to be practically eating out of my hand when I'm done with him.”

So, he began trying to sell me something. I couldn't really understand what he wanted to sell me, but judging by the way he lowered his voice and looked kind of sneaky I imagined it was something slightly less than legal.

I looked at him, shook my head, and walked off.

And he followed, at a polite distance. I think he was re-working his plan of attack, maybe he decided I was more respectable than I looked. So he came up to me again and asked if I wanted a taxi to a hotel. I said, “No, thank you though.”

And then, I gave him the 'look'. It took me a while to perfect 'the look' but I had plenty of practice in India. I don't always get it, but most times I do. The 'look' when done properly, can stop the most determined salesman (or woman) dead in their tracks. The look tells them a couple of things. First it tells them that you aren't kidding. That you aren't a confused tourist looking for something to buy. Then it tells them that you know exactly what you want and where you want to go. And finally, it shows them a glimpse of your soul. They see some one not to be trifled with. They see some one who is dangerous. Often, after seeing the 'look' they imagine that you are ex-military, or that you work for the CIA, or that you are an assassin. They don't sleep well that night, or the night after, because they keep seeing the 'look'. When they close their eyes at night they see it. When they sleep they dream about it. When they eat their cheerios in the morning each little bit of cereal is your eye, glaring up at them from out of their bowl.

Needless to say, he left.

1 comment:

Terri said...

wow.....I'm keeping that in mind!! THE LOOK!! Is it sad to say I have used that look on my own kids? lol