My first month and a half in India were spent in awe of the traffic. I just didn't understand how buses, rickshaws, cars, motorbikes, cows, oxen, dogs, children, men and women could all go different directions on the same small road and not collide killing everyone in sight.
Slowly my brain began to adapt. I still didn't understand. But I was just resigned to the fact that somehow it worked.
Then I rented a bicycle. Having biked a lot in the States I felt pretty comfortable biking in India. A little scary when there are two buses heading toward the same patch of road and you're in between, but no problem.
Then I rented a scooter. Ha ha. Good joke. Silly Eli on a scooter. Yeah, you wouldn't know a drive chain from a lanyard. You're right I wouldn't. But I did rent a scooter. I wish I could say I rented a motorcycle or even better a Harley Davidson. Then you would really appreciate the momentous nature of this occasion. But for me a scooter was all it took.
Some insane part of me had wanted to rent one for a long time. It's not logical or reasonable. Why would I suddenly decide to learn how to drive a scooter? In Indian traffic no less? But I did.
I got a recommendation of a good place to rent vehicles from the receptionist at our hotel and headed out ready to try my luck.
I arrived at a shabby establishment with a number of visibly deteriorating scooters and motorcycles in front. No one was around so I sat down on a filthy chair ready to wait. Finally, after perhaps 20 minutes, the proprietor of the establishment drove up on a scooter.
For one moment I contemplated asking for a motorcycle. I imagined myself racing down roads with my (suddenly) long hair tied up in a ponytail and my clearly visible tattoos warning all that I was tough. Plus there would be the Top Gun theme music playing. It would be great. But almost simultaneously I had flashbacks to all those gory driver ed videos where the entire teenage population of some small town is wiped out in one terrible motorcycle accident. So, deciding caution was the better half of valor (I don't know how this cliché applies to my situation) I rented a scooter.
To rent the motorbike I had to pay rs 150 per day. I had asked around and this seemed to be a fair price. After settling the deal and paying the owner I was ready to go. As security I gave him my Idaho drivers license. He handed me the keys and headed back into his shop. Then something occurred to me. How do you turn on a scooter? I fiddled around for a bit pushing various buttons and stomping on various levers but nothing happened. Finally, I went back into the shop and asked for a little lesson. The guy didn't even blink. He came out and showed me the basics (turning it on, turning it off, accelerating, stopping). Now, ready to go I jumped on and scooted off into traffic.
For the first hour or two it was a bit rough. Sometimes I would brake and accelerate at the same time, which confused the poor scooter to no end. But overall it went great and I made it home safely. Over a period of several days I became a better and better driver. My mom and I used the scooter to travel around Pondicherry. It allowed us to explore areas of town that we never would have gone to otherwise.
We both loved it. Then we decided to take a day trip to Chidumberam on the scooter, which sounded like a better idea than it actually was.
We left Pondicherry at 6:00 am. It was just getting light and the air was crisp and refreshing. I wore a light jacket and a scarf. Well, once we were on the road that 'crisp and refreshing air' became colder and colder. Soon both my mom and I were shivering and praying for the sun to appear. We continued on like this, never really warming up.
The drive took about two hours. It was a beautiful road going through the countryside. In the morning the traffic was light and I really enjoyed the drive.
Chidumberum itself is a dusty town that is built around a large temple complex. My mom and I were there to see the temple (which features a huge Shiva Naturaje) and just see a bit more of India before my mother headed out. We probably spent three hours there, eating at a restaurant and seeing the temple sights. We left around noon. At this point it was scorching hot. The chill of the morning was a hazy memory that was slowly being washed away in rivers of sweat.
Both my mom and I were excited to get back on the bike and head on home. Imagining a ride similar to the morning I was excited to see more of the country side during the day.
However, like the temperature, the ride back was completely different. First of all the sun was hot. Even with the wind it was still a scorcher of a day. On top of that the traffic was thick. Every type of vehicle and animal that can navigate a cement road was. And, thirdly, the pot holes, craters and divots that had seemed so easy to navigate a few hours early, were almost impossible obstacles.
At any given time I had five different things to avoid. A typical minute of driving would go something like this: I'm driving along in 'my lane'. I avoid a pothole, then I overtake a cart being pulled by an ox. Then I'm overtaken by a motorcycle. Suddenly I hear the thunder like horn of a bus. The bus is trying to overtake me. The only problem is there is another bus going in the opposite direction. The road is narrow. As the bus comes up on my right it begins to run me off the road. So I drive off hoping we don't slide in the loose sand. The bus passes. I get back on the road. I avoid another cart. I relax for a second. There are no cars behind me. But oh wait, there is a bus coming toward me in my lane. I drive off the road again.
This is how it went for three endless hours. Thinking back on it I realized that if any one of those things that I just mentioned happened in America I would talk about it for days. I would come home and say “Oh my gosh you won't believe it! A bus passed me on a curve today!” But in India those things happened ever thirty seconds.
Driving was physically and mentally exhausting. When we finally made it home (safely) I was shaking and I kept expecting the chairs and beds to rush toward me honking their horns. Although I was completely exhausted I couldn't sleep. I had too much adrenaline in my system.
That night I returned the scooter.
Although the ride to Chidumberum wasn't easy I'm very glad I did it. And despite everything I just wrote I plan on renting a scooter again just this time I think I'll keep my motorized excursions under an hour.